Is your first thing first?
By that, I mean--does your highest priority actually get your sharpest focus, your best resources, and the lion's share of your time?
I ask you this, because I am asking myself the same question. If my highest priorities are not getting my first and my best--then who am I kidding? My assumed priorities are not my real priorities. This can be a sad realization when I look at any given day individually. I want to challenge you not to be disheartened by your individual days (who among us has NOT had a day where it would seem that your highest priority was naps, fretting, or surfing the interwebs).
I would encourage you rather, look at the rhythm of your life. Does the cadence of your days echo that of your heart's greatest desires? Does it have a staccato that hops happily between each priority? Do you love your God, your spouse, your children, your friends, your enemies...do you love them well? Do you spend more time encouraging and teaching your children than you do plotting your next mental escape? Are you more prone to act or to worry?
The pattern of my days right now do not reflect the priorities I hold dear. It has taken me longer than I expected to slip into this new life in Indiana. The house doesn't feel like home as of now, and I am still adjusting to new routines, new rhtyms, and new chores. It seems like even the simplest things like loading the (much smaller) dishwasher now throw a kink into my day, with dishes piling up waiting for my gumption to return.
My priorities have been defined for years. I have long known the highest pursuits of my life--and held to those steadfastly. Faith, family, friends--love, love, love. That's it. Of course, those each are overly simplistic, but that's the sum of it. However, right now it looks more like...self, self-pity, self-focus.
The only way I know to change this self-fueled life I am slowly chugging towards is to start simply moving in the opposite direction. I need to spend my days getting into a good routine, as I know that is of utmost importance to our family life. Finding a "church home" will be good for our family and for putting down roots in our new community. Only when you commit to a community will your relationships flourish...be it church, work, school, etc. I need that right now.
I am just slowly evolving my daily routine to more reflect the priorities I hold. Nothing drastic, nothing shame or guilt fueled. Please don't read these words as a finger-wagging, idealistic rant. I just know that my life is much sweeter when my first things are indeed first.
