Where have I been? Well, to be transparent, I got knocked with a pretty solid case of postpartum depression and anxiety. As soon as Asher was well and home and the adrenaline wore off, it was like the hormones kicked into overdrive. Add on top of that Asher's very serious illness and resulting NICU stay, and suddenly I felt very aware that the world is an uncertain place. It was paralyzing. It was so hard, but thankfully it was also fairly shortlived. Husband was excellent at making sure we got on top of it quickly, and I am now well on my way back to normal. Yesterday, I looked in the backseat of the van and thought, "Wow! So fun that we have 3 boys!" rather than "Wow! How in the world will I manage with 3 boys AND what.if.something.happens.to.them????". It was the first time that had happened in about a month. I think that means I am on the upswing. Praise God, seriously.
If you have a baby and start to feel more than a little bluesy, PLEASE talk to your husband, your doctor, your mom...anybody. Let them know how you are feeling. It is so worth it to get help and to start feeling more like yourself again. No reason to go months without figuring it out. You may just need some extra rest, but you may also benefit from counseling or medication. Everyone is different, but no one needs to feel horrible so soon after such a blessed thing as a baby.