Tiny Twig Goes Out on a Limb

Sleeping Sitting Up

Our sweet Cooper is the proverbial "bull in a china cabinet" and a "wrecking ball".  He goes, goes, goes and knocks into most things in his way.  He has the sweetest (most opinionated) spirit, but he has very little coordination and quite a lot of speed.  This makes him absolutely hilarious and accident prone.  Dude falls down more than I thought a kid possibly could! 

Anyway, we worked hard at wearing the boys out on Monday.  The boys (big and little) went out on the traditional "Morning Ski" before breakfast when the water is like glass.  It is the best time to ski or wakeboard, so our boys are out there getting it while it's good.  So, they were out on the boat from 7:30-9:30 and then back out after a quick breakfast from 10:30-5:30.  It was a LONG day for them and I caught Cooper asleep sitting up at various points during the day. 

I cannot believe how much fun we are having this year with the boys.  They are finally old enough to have some sense on the boat.  In previous years I was a ball of nerves just hoping they wouldn't try to climb out while we were cruising.  They even tubed with their cousins today!  We had a 2, 3, 4, and 5 year old out together on the tube all by themselves!  It was adorable and probably so memorable for them, too.  They were even giving us the thumbs up and thumbs down to go faster or slower.  So grown up!

Well, off to more vacationing!  We've been waiting and planning for this since Thanksgiving time...so I am savoring each and every moment. 

 

Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

Where have I been?  Well, to be transparent, I got knocked with a pretty solid case of postpartum depression and anxiety.  As soon as Asher was well and home and the adrenaline wore off, it was like the hormones kicked into overdrive.  Add on top of that Asher's very serious illness and resulting NICU stay, and suddenly I felt very aware that the world is an uncertain place.  It was paralyzing.  It was so hard, but thankfully it was also fairly shortlived.  Husband was excellent at making sure we got on top of it quickly, and I am now well on my way back to normal.  Yesterday, I looked in the backseat of the van and thought, "Wow!  So fun that we have 3 boys!" rather than "Wow!  How in the world will I manage with 3 boys AND what.if.something.happens.to.them????".  It was the first time that had happened in about a month.  I think that means I am on the upswing.  Praise God, seriously. 

If you have a baby and start to feel more than a little bluesy, PLEASE talk to your husband, your doctor, your mom...anybody.  Let them know how you are feeling.  It is so worth it to get help and to start feeling more like yourself again.  No reason to go months without figuring it out.  You may just need some extra rest, but you may also benefit from counseling or medication.  Everyone is different, but no one needs to feel horrible so soon after such a blessed thing as a baby. 

It's a Good Life. One Month.

Tell me.  Does it really get any better than this?  Sweet for baby, restful for Dad, and breathtaking for Mom.  So incredibly thankful to have these sweet shots of Twig3 (to match the ones of Twig1 and Twig2 that look nearly identical).  There were moments when I wondered if/feared there would always be an Asher sized whole in my life.  So, so, so thankful for these everyday moments. 

What everyday moment would you miss if it were for whatever reason not there?

We will grow in our intimacy.

Closeness.  Intimacy.  Vulnerability.  Long-suffering.  Endurance. 

My boys are best of friends.  They hug, they wrestle, they chat, they love.  They get to know each other better every day.  They pray for each other.  Of course, they fuss with each other.  They are brothers, and they are learning so much because of that bond. 

I wonder how the addition of another brother will effect the dynamic of their bond.  Will it heighten their closeness--therefore excluding little Twig3?  Will Twig2 find himself drifting more towards leading Twig3--therefore leaving Twig1 sort of alone?  Will Twig1 dote on Twig3--therefore making Twig2 feel excluded?  Will the addition create a synergistic effect bonding each of them closer together?

My brothers and I are spaced far apart (4 years between 1&2 and then 6 years between 2&3...I am the oldest).  I remember--vividly--my father trying to push the idea and methods of bonding with my youngest brother.  However, with a 10 year age difference and the obvious gender difference, it was difficult for me to form a bond that looked similar to my father's hopes.

However, now that we are older (my brother is 16 and growing into more of a man every day), I find that our bond deepens and changes with each interaction.  It is not something that can be pushed by parents; it can only be facilitated.  It is something that the kids must want, be open to, and be able to create. 

I need to keep this in mind in the days to come.  As a parent, you want each child to feel like a special part of the whole.  You want them to know their individual and important place in the family. 

I have a building case of nerves surrounding the addition of Twig3.  I am so excited to meet him--and will no doubt love him the moment he arrives.  However, the change that this will bring to our newly found rhythm (after that cross-country move less than a year ago) is looming.  Change is healthy and good--and not to mention inevitable. 

Change is coming. 

We will grow in our intimacy.  Our closeness.  Our vulnerability.  Our long-suffering.  Our endurance.

Make it a habit...

found via pinterest

Because I am introspective, analytical, and really value being "genuine"...I struggle with being critical (read any ENFP personality profile, and you can get an idea!).  I also grew up in a home where our deeds and motives were constantly critiqued--no doubt with good intentions of helping us see where we excelled and where we needed work--but these facts have accumulated and molded my nature.  I tend to have an opinion about everything, but thankfully as I've matured I've learned when it is/isn't appropriate to share. 

Being critical doesn't even mean being negative.  It means that you have taken the time to weigh the pros and cons/goods and bads/worthiness vs. silliness of any particular act or word.  It means that you have assigned weight to everything.  It is exhausting to do so.  It also points to unspoken pride in my heart. 

I try to keep this idea in mind, this idea of not being concerned with the small things.  Not inflating the small things by overthinking them.